Recently, I read an article entitled, “The Top 10 Reasons for Marrying Young – for You and for Society“. It was a really good read, and I have to say I agreed with most (all?) of it. Of course, I may be a bit biased since I was married at twenty 🙂
The article begins by making really important points. Nobody in their right mind would advocate that everyone should marry young. The author talks about a lot of reasons people get married young that aren’t good reasons. But if a couple is mature, has figured out who they are on their own (to some extent… goodness knows I’m still working on this at 30 and after 10 years of marriage), etc – and they know they’ve found a person with whom they want to commit to spend the rest of their life? Well goodness – I think there are dozens of good reasons to tie the knot sooner than later. Here are some of my thoughts on my favorite parts of the article, which you should definitely just read…..
“Drifting through ones twenties can waste a key decade”
I can only imagine how true this is. Let me be the first to say that we – thanks to many excuses I could make about medical school, unexpected bedrest and pregnancy complications, etc – are not as far along planning for retirement, etc as we’d like. As in, since we’re choosing to send our kids to their current school, we have minimal retirement plans. That’s a discussion for another day 🙂 But the fact remains, there are a TON of important discoveries that happen during your twenties. Financial awareness, discovering of ones purpose, numerous things that I imagine are much easier to do when you’re settled down with an amazing teammate, as opposed to flitting from weekend to weekend, never growing up and working through anything “big”. Of course this isn’t to say you have to be married to make these things happen. I know some people who, while still single, have made some incredible headway on “life plans” and “growing up” – many more than I ever could have. Good for them. For many people though, they wait to do any of that until they’ve “settled down”.
“You ‘grow up’ together”
“You can focus your goals earlier”
I guess I sort of made my way into this one a bit while covering the last point. The article did a much better job staying on topic… so I’ve gone ahead and muddied the waters a bit more by adding a second point. 😉 To me though, this is one of the things I cherish most about being married ten years already. While I’ve been figuring out who I am, what my purpose is on this earth, what I love and need? I have someone alongside me every step of the way. Like, EVERY. STEP. of the way. There’s of course some things I have to figure out on my own, but I can’t imagine doing these big things by myself. Good friends and family are an invaluable resource, but if you’re married (I suppose I should if you have a good marriage relationship) you know – there is nobody in the world who has the ability to support you like your spouse.
“You can be a younger parent (and grandparent)”
Oh gosh. I’m thirty, and I can assure you I’m falling apart. I’m not going to suggest there is *anything* wrong with waiting until after thirty to have children, but I can tell you this much – sometimes I can barely get off the floor after playing with mine already. Enough said.
As for “grandparenting”? That’s obviously not on my radar any time soon, but there are no words that would adequately describe how grateful I am to have known my great- and great, great grandparents growing up. How much more grateful I am that my grandparents are well enough to watch my children and have an amazing relationship with them. How all four of my children’s grandparents are young enough to really play with them and watch them grow up. I had friends who lost grandparents when I was much younger, and I couldn’t really wrap my head around what they would miss. Honestly? I’m not sure anyone could at that age. It is only as an adult with children of my own that I understand more and more the priceless, precious impact that multiple generations can have on our families.
There are other points that are made about sexual temptation, societal impact of the increasing maternal age, etc. But I’m going to end here with perhaps the thing most lovely to me, and most cheesy to you. I don’t even care. 🙂
“You have decades and decades together”
Um, I am crazy about my husband. We just celebrated ten years of marriage this summer, and I legitimately miss him almost every day when he’s at work – not just the days that the kids make me want to kick a hole in a cabinet door (it’s happened) and I want help at home. The weekends are too short and too far apart. I genuinely enjoy his company and conversation, no matter what we’re doing. Of course there are things he does that drive me a little nuts, and I’m quite sure there are plenty of times he needs a break from my crazy 🙂 But we have fun together. We have plans to have fun together and change the world together for decades to come. Certainly if we got married at 30 or 40 we could do many of the same things… but life goes by so, so quickly. I want as much time with him as possible.
I know. Not everyone finds the “right person” at a young age. It is absolutely not my heart’s desire to suggest that there is anything wrong with anyone who doesn’t marry young. I’m just so grateful that God brought Kyle and I together when he did, and I want to advocate for greater acceptance of the idea of marrying young when it’s appropriate.