My husband and I will celebrate our ten-year anniversary in June. Ten years! And while we hardly have it all (anything?) figured out, darn it if I am not still crazy about him.
We were talking this week about a trip that has been planned (in our minds) since just before our fifth anniversary, and – while I suppose it’s a little like counting our eggs before they’re hatched – I’m pretty sure we’ll still like one another when it rolls around. We started talking about how many people we know that stop spending quality time with their spouses when they have kids. I know you’ve heard the “date your spouse” advice before, so I’m going to package it a little differently. Because honestly? Something started stirring differently in my heart, and only eventually made its way there.
Who are you? What do you do? If you work outside the home, I imagine you answered with a brief description of your job. Please don’t stop reading, this is for you, too.
If you don’t work outside the home, have you ever used the word “just” in your description of your job? “I just stay home with my kids.” First, stop that. I do it, too, but let’s agree to stop. And no, this is not where I launch into the 390,824th battle of the working vs stay-at-home mom war. Being a wife and a mom is hard work, and it’s a huge job, and whether you work outside the home or not you are presented with unique challenges.
So where am I going with this?
I’ll ask again. Who are you? What makes you tick? What do you love to do, or what did you love to do when you felt like you had the time?
When I had that initial conversation that got this ball rolling, I heard myself saying something that stuck with me since:
“Raising my family alongside my husband – what my kids do for eternity and what their kids do – may be my biggest legacy and impact on the world… but it doesn’t have to be my only one.”
First, I’m not suggesting it isn’t enough, and that you should go out and save the world like a one-woman army. If you are in a season where it’s all you can do to be the best wife and mom you can be, please know I’ve been there. This month.
But I kind of want something to start stirring in you too, because I think we are all made for so much! It is so fulfilling to find – or remember – what you were made to do and do it, even if it’s just in a few minutes here or there.
You don’t need it, I know – but in case you were waiting for it, this is your permission to do something for you. You the wife (without the kids), but also YOU the individual. Not in a “go get yourself a pedicure” sort of way, though no shame there – my girls and I are doing that today, too. Feel free to join us. But in a way that asks, “Is there another legacy I can leave? One that builds on, or builds into, my family or community?” Maybe it’s a hobby like music or photography. Maybe it’s finding time to take care of your body. Maybe it’s a ministry, or a learning opportunity.
Whatever it may be, longing to do something “more” – even when we’ve been given an amazing task and gift already – is ok.
Take 60 seconds and daydream with me. What would you love to do or become? I’m not asking if it’s a reasonable dream, if you’re equipped to do it right now, if you have the money or time. I’m asking what you love to do. What do you want to be when you grow up? 🙂
This is a great letter to remind everyone to look up and sow more of themselves than they thought possible! Dreaming is such an adventure. Great writing. Enjoy your vacation!
It *is* an adventure! I think we can be better wives and moms, etc too, if we’re fulfilling our purpose and doing things that bring us joy outside of our homes as well. Thanks for your comment!