At a conference I recently attended, author and speaker Jon Acuff said something that beautifully packages what I want my life (and this space) to represent.
He said, “Your willingness to be vulnerable gives others the beautiful gift of going second.”
I’ve seen that unfold around here, even in just a short time. My dear friends Lindsay and Heather boldly shared their story and secrets respectively, providing me with what I called “borrowed bravery”, and allowing me to begin to share my own story.
My moments of transparency in difficult days have inspired at least two others to open up about their parenting journeys.
When I explain the purpose of this site, I often describe a goal in which I want us all to realize we are “more alike than we like to let on”. The only way we can begin to accomplish that is by sharing our stories and our (real) lives with one another.
It’s hard sometimes, right? I’m so thankful for the reminder that going first truly can be a beautiful gift. So can going second. As can just going today, before someone else who is waiting – afraid to share their story, afraid to try something new. Someone who might not be afraid if they knew you were a lot like them in some way.
Think on this the remainder of the week. I’m not asking you to spill your innermost secrets here, though they’re welcome. But if it’s in the forefront of your mind, maybe you can be ever-so-slightly less concerned with hiding parts of yourself away that are imperfect. Who knows how many people that might bless?
Corie Clark
I love this Jennifer! This is something that I have been struggling with. Not sharing any dirty secrets or anything but the going first. I don’t want to wait for someone else to pave the way. That might be too late. But I also want to be okay with being second. It’s a BIG world and we all can give to it. Whether we’re the first, second, or thousandth.
xx
Jennifer Kaufman
You’re absolutely right – and even when we’re the thousandth, there are probably others waiting 🙂
Lizzi; Considerer (@LRConsiderer)
I like that. I do a lot of Truth Telling chez moi, and sometimes that worries my family, but open and honest and real feel like important things to be – lets other people know that really, the loneliness is just a feeling, because we’re all alone – together.
This is a great post 🙂
Jennifer Kaufman
I love this: “The loneliness is just a feeling”. Sometimes it seems like so much more than that, and like we’re (each) the only ones who would get it. Thanks!
Tammy Helfrich (@tammyhelfrich)
I have found when I have the courage to go first, it helps others. You may not know it right away. Many people don’t comment on blogs. But, they may send you a message, or tell you the next time you run into them somewhere what your post meant to them. Keep sharing your story!
Jennifer Kaufman
Thank you for your comment, Tammy! I think you’re absolutely right – sometimes the confirmation comes much later. That’s far more encouraging than a dozen likes on a FB post! 🙂
Heather Patterson
Your words were such a welcomed gift to me tonight. It seems so strange for me to look back at that post I wrote months ago when I was feeling to sure and yet in the last few days, I’ve been filled with some of those same old fears and insecurities.
I needed to be reminded that sometimes just being vulnerable is a gift to others, even if the act of being vulnerable with them is sharing your current sorrows so that when you do arrive at those days when you are ready to share the joys, it is even more authentic.
So thankful for you, my friend!